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Sarasota News Leader March 1, 2013 Page 110 the family Christmas card that year. It sudden- My footnote answers one question and raises ly became imperative that the president get to another. Camp David immediately and start collecting Canada dumped its unwanted flea-infested acorns. tree rats on our nation���s capital because CanBut Dec. 21 proved a long and busy day, and ada did not want them! by day���s end, the weather had turned so bad The real question is, ���Why did the U.S. not dethat Marine One could not copter him to clare war on Canada for that dastardly deed���? Camp David. ���Then we drove all the way to Well, my research on this topic concludes Camp D. because of fog & rain.��� That is Pres- with proof that we were indeed very close ident Reagan���s diary entry. I can almost pic- to declaring war on our dear neighbor over ture the throngs of squirrels surrounding his this insult until President Theodore Roosevelt motorcade ��� only it was night and the squir- met with his cabinet and a certain secretary rels were sleeping the sleep of the righteous, of war (I shan���t name names, but it was not secure in the knowledge that their reign was Elihu Root) pointed out that that if the U.S. were to lose the war, U.S. citizens would be now assured. subjected to Canada���s constitutionally manOh! My publisher has just advised me that The dated bilingualism. That means we all would New York Times Book Review will not even have to learn French irregular verbs, which consider my book ���unless it contains foot- by definition are ���any verb you need to use.��� notes,��� and not the sort left by a squirrel making tracks in the snow! In order to be termed a As we live in a squirrely world, I am taking scholar rather than a sciolist, it appears foot- precautions in case we do go to war. I have been studying French at L���Acad��mie Moulin notes must be arcane and undecipherable. Rouge, a YouTube video link. I think if you So, here goes! watch Christina Aguilera���s tutorial on the French language, you will hope the U.S. goes Footnote. When you visit our National Zoo to war with Canada and loses BIG time! Her in Washington, D.C., to your left, just inside Qu��b��cois accent is to die for! See for yourthe main entrance off Connecticut Avenue, self in Lady Marmalade. you will see an inscribed bronze plaque commemorating the gift by the Department of Otus (English) Crown Lands of Ontario of 18 black squirrels Otus (French) to the United States during President TheoMegascops asio (English) dore Roosevelt���s administration. The story of Megascops asio (French) % Washington���s black squirrel, a melanistic form OTUS of the gray squirrel, is still to be written. No ABOUT an Eastern Screech-Owl, was born on SiesOtus Rufous, one really knows what the U.S. did to Canada ta Key and is a full-time resident there. An avid hunter, to have deserved this. Even Smithsonian Insti- accomplished vocalist and genuine night owl, Otus is a keen observer of our local wildlife and knows many of tution researchers and scholars are at a loss nature���s secrets. Otus will answer your questions about to explain the mystery, but they do point out our amazing wildlife, but only if you Ask Otus. So please that in the aftermath of that gift, the squirrel send your questions and photos to askotus@sarasotanewsleader.com. Thank you. population in the U.S. has exploded.